today is a whole new world

welcome riley b. herod...our daughter!

happy birth day...for now

today is your due date.

will you meet us today?

will we see you in all your wrinkle headed glory?

you almost decided to stage a break early sunday morning, but then decided against it.

mommy wasn't too happy with you after that. she told me that if you're going to start something then you should probably finish it. she felt like you were teasing her.

i know you didn't do it on purpose, but boy, you sure had us going. now things have quieted back down and we have resumed our daily vigil.

today is special though because today has been your birth day since january. today has been marked down on our calendar for 9 months and now it's finally here.

we're not sure if you'll be joining us today or tomorrow or the next day, but you'll be coming soon enough.

and when you do decide to make your entrance in our lives, we promise that we'll be (mostly) ready.

but today i just wanted to wish you a happy birth day...for now.

happy sad

my grandmother passed away on the 11th around 1 in the morning. my sister called skyla who came over to let me know that she had passed and i was sad, but i was happy.

let me explain.

a few weeks ago, skyla and i made a trip to palm springs to see her. we were able to spend a day and a half talking with her and my aunt sharon. just spending time with her, listening to her talk about my father, about her late husband jim, about growing up in indiana, about her many paintings and stained glass. i was seeing my grandmother as a life lived; as more than my grandmother. She was a woman who had been a daughter, a wife, a mother, a grandmother and finally a great-grandmother. she was so much more than i could ever understand and i was fortunate to catch just a glimpse of it.

she wasn't eating anymore and the pain was getting worse. she wasn't able to get around by herself anymore.

and so, finally, her spirit let go.

she is whole again. no disease, no pain.

and by letting go, she has made me sad.

and by letting go, she has made me happy.